I’m Not Pro-Life


Courtesy: madmikesamerica.com

Courtesy: madmikesamerica.com

When it comes to the abortion debate I’m not Pro Life. Nor am I Pro Choice.

I’m Pro Mum.

I’m pro the 13-year-old girl who is unexpectedly a mum. Well, pregnant anyway. She barely understands the facts of life, yet the fact is her life has changed forever.

I’m pro the mum who is told “if you have this baby I’ll never speak to you again / won’t support you / will break up with you / kick you out of home” and is called names by family and friends and is gossiped about by strangers.

I’m pro the mum for who the brief intimacy of sex was the only moments in her life that she came close to feeling love and acceptance so she gave herself to any man who offered an escape from the  loneliness that always echoes through her soul.

I’m pro the mum who believed the lie that it’s just tissue and not a real baby, that everyone does it and it doesn’t hurt a bit. Who was given the advise that her education / career / relationship / holiday was more important than her feelings or the fetus inside her.

I’m pro the mum who doesn’t think there is another a choice. Who doesn’t know that adoption is an option or keeping the baby either. Who is confused and scared and despite her deepest wish to be a mother, gives in to all the external voices yelling at her to just fix her problem. Deep down she feels that this may not be right but she can’t think straight and her feelings are all messed up and morning sickness tops it all. She can’t see that she has any other choice.

I’m pro the mum who walked to the clinic to get some information to make an informed decision only to be verbally assaulted by protestors on the street. In her embarrassing situation this harassment makes her angry and she vows she’ll never have anything to do with Christians or God! Ever!

I’m pro the mum who wakes up one night suddenly overwhelmed with the reality of what she did. She feels so empty inside. No one told her it would be like this and that even though her body has healed the guilt will deny her sleep every night for the rest of her life.

I’m pro the mum who was told it was a simple procedure and assured she would be able to have more children only to find out later that complications had stolen that dream as well so her grief doubles as she cries over what could have been and what will now never be.

I’m pro the mum who knew better, who took the absence vow, who’s still not sure how it all happened but is now overcome with shame. Who asked and received forgiveness from her Saviour but not from her church. As she sits through sermon after sermon and conversation after conversation about wonder of purity and sinfulness of promiscuity and unforgive-ableness of abortion. Who goes to Pro Life rallies to hide her secret but feels like the biggest hypocrite. Who thinks her lost love, the father, has got off scott free and she’s the only one suffering. Who lost her innocence, her baby and her relationship with God all in a moment and is now trapped by a secret so big it steals her life.

I’m pro the mum who summoned the courage to find forgiveness in a church only to hear from the pulpit how terrible her sin is and feels like it could never be forgiven so she quietly leaves, her bruised heart crumbling

I’m pro the mum who can’t cope with the guilt, the sadness, the accusations, the depression. Who feels like everyone condemns her and there is no forgiveness and no hope. Who ends her hellish life to face a hell of an eternity because her Saviour’s church cared more for the life of her unborn child than it did for her.

I’m pro the mum, who in the loneliest, scariest moment of her life, as she decides on behalf of herself and her child, doesn’t understand it all. She doesn’t understand how very loved she is by Jesus Christ. How He understands and accepts her, just she the way she is. That He offers her life, hope, love and forgiveness.

I’m Pro Mum.

And I’m Pro Dad. The dad who doesn’t know he had or lost a child. Who encouraged his girlfriend to end it. Who believed the lies. Who expressed his fears in anger and lost his love.  Who wasn’t given a choice and grieves the death of his child. Who is caught up in guilt and shame. Who can’t find forgiveness. Who… well, just like the mums, also suffer. I’m also Pro Dad.

I’m Pro Mum and Pro Dad. After that, I’m pro-baby. Should we not care for the mums and the dads too? Or is it ok to scream pro-life for the unborn in a way that hurts the born? In the fight for the rights of the unborn do we forget to love their parents? I believe every life is valued by God. Every life. The life unborn, the life that killed the unborn, the life that carries the scars and the guilt of the abortion. Every life. Not one more than another. Every life is valued.

I’m Pro Mum and Pro Dad. After that, I’m pro-baby. How about you?

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