The Life I Could Have Had


It must be human nature. The vast number of movies and books attest to the “life I could have had” question that haunts or tantalises so many. A split second decision, a settling for less, a giving in, a leap of faith, sliding doors, choices made, promises broken, stolen control, near misses, the ultimate choose your own adventure.

We wonder if only…

  • I had dated Jim instead of Jon
  • Chosen this degree over that one
  • Chased my passion instead of settling for any job
  • Spent more with my family
  • Said no to temptation that one time…

and we assume that the end of the “if only” would be…

  • my marriage would have been perfect
  • I would have a job I love and money to burn
  • my kids would have visited me in the nursing home
  • wealth, health and happiness would have been mine.

Yet, should that “if only” had happened, if we’d walked a different path our life may have been more like this…

  • a childhood in an abusive home begetting children in an abusive home
  • financial collapse ruining generations to come
  • golden shackles chaining you to an unfaithful, workaholic spouse
  • falsely accused and imprisoned
  • bad friends, overloaded with booze, high speeds, paraplegic at 16.

or worse still

  • facing no challenges, enduring no hardships,
  • building no courage,  gaining no wisdom,
  • rarely learning, never growing,
  • creating no ripples, impacting none,
  • looking for miracles where they were never intended to be.

I have plenty of “if only’s” in my life. Plenty of things my life could have been. I’m sure you have too.

If only I wrote some more, said more, added a few more words.


If only I simply left you with two quotes that have come my way in the last few days.

“But Katie, the miracle is not the life you could have had. The miraacle is the life you have had.” The Shunning, Beverly Lewis

“But by the grace of God, I am what I am.” 1 Corinthians 15:10a

When you’ve pondered these two quotes, please share your thoughts with us in the comments below.


Challenged by this? Try one of these:

            1. In Every Season
            2. Splashback or Mosaic
            3. Jumped by Jealousy

Do you agree? Add your thoughts to the discussion.

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